


Secret Love Song

by stxrblossom



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-07 23:38:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14681877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stxrblossom/pseuds/stxrblossom
Summary: "What will markhyuck do next time?"





	1. 1. Secret Love Song

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry English isn't my language. I'm trying hard to make good fics that everyone understands. The songs will be in the title of each chapter.

_**Secret Love Song.**_  
_**Mark x Donghyuck.**_  
**_Angst. Adults._**

The younger attempts grabbing his hand before he leaves the living room of the apartment. The other just looks at his eyes trying not to give way, or just not thinking about doing it.

 

"Please... Stay for today."

"I'm sorry, you know I can't."

"You don't even hesitate to say it, you just spit it out, without thinking... You don't love me." The blond approached him, taking his face in his hands and kissing the other's forehead and cheeks.

"Of course I love you, baby. But I have to go back with my girlfriend. You know we can't–"

"Raise suspicions. I know." The older released his hands. He only felt the sensation of heat leave his body. Another day in his life. The blonde opened the door before the brunette called him as he always did.

"Mark, would you kiss me?" and he did, cold lips that made Donghyuck shiver. A cold tempano. Then he only saw how Mark left. And he fell on the floor to cry.

 

 

 

"I'll be in your house and bring you here in few minutes, do you want to watch a movie? She is not at home."

"Yes, no problem." Donghyuck knew they could only see each other when Mark's girlfriend wasn't home. He knew that they couldn't walk hand in hand like normal couples, nor could they kiss in public, couldn't scream to the world with a ring in his hand that he was Mark's and that Mark was his, not like his girlfriend. He couldn't say how in love he was to his friends. For Mark, because he had asked him to keep the secret until things fixed, until he stopped his fear of telling the world that he was dating a boy or at least breaking the relationship with his girlfriend whom he said he loved. And Mark didn't love him, which he didn't knew.

Because he couldn't do it, for him.

And now that he reread that sheets, he only hoped that the end of Mark's problems would come, to enjoy some time together.

"Choose the one you want"

"No! Let's be together for a while, talking, no movie."

"Well, but I thought we meet up for this."

"That's not the only thing couples do." He spoke obvious.

"Maybe because we're not a couple." Donghyuck froze. "Donghyuck, I'm getting married in a month, the date is decided."

"But you promised me you would broke up with her. You told me you would, because you loved me!"

"And I love you! But you know that this can't be, we kissing and hugging or being in that bed. You know it's just something for us both.

"Then why can't it be for everyone?!"

"Because it's like that."

"I do not want to get away from you..."

"We won't get away, we will continue as always, you and me, whenever you want."

"It's not when I want to! It's when she's not around, when nobody is around. It's not for your work parties or going to a club with your friends. It's nothing like that. Mark, you're telling me you'll be unfaithful to your wife. You are using me and you can't even leave it! You are a coward!"

"Baby–" He approached to hold him by the wrists and kiss him hard. With fear of losing the other. "Please do not leave me." the tears came down on the face of the brunette.

"Take me home. Now."

All along the way he couldn't stop those silent tears from falling. They wouldn't see each other anymore. He won't answer more calls. Nor open the door. Only the day that was necessary, he would came out from his house.

 

 

The day of Mark's wedding had approached quickly, this one in a black suit looked everywhere from the altar. Waiting to see Donghyuck. If he arrived, he would say no. If he told him to leave everything, he would.

But it never happened, the wedding march began to play and immediately Mark's phone did. He didn't turn it off waiting for a call from Donghyuck. 

 

"Mark Lee?"

"Yes? Who's this?"

"Are you a relative or acquaintance of Lee Donghyuck?"

"Yes. What happened to him?"

"It's from the central hospital. Mr. Lee underwent an operation a few hours ago and we need to give news to his family. He gave this number in case there was an emergency." Mark's world stopped. The noise stopped. The people stopped singing. The bride stopped walking. "We need you to approach the hospital. It's important." He let the phone fall to the floor and began to run, pushing the bride and all who began to approach him. He took his car and headed downtown.

 

 

"We feel your lost sir, we did what we could. He asked us to deliver this to you"

 

 

_"Mark. In these moments I must be dead or in a coma, of the 3 possibilities that they gave me when deciding a surgery for a disease that I prefer not to tell you. I prefer to say goodbye today to continue suffering because of you. Yes. I appreciated all the love or affection that you could transmit to me in these 4 years, even if you were lying._

_And I can only tell you that fear does not lead to anything good. You could be married now or not. I hope you are instead of remembering me every day. Forget me if you can. Live your life with your wife and have many children. At least do not be afraid to show love to her as you did to me. And to say "I love you", truly. As you never did with me._

_I love you and you're the last person I would think of about b efore I close my eyes, I promise. Even if you never thought of me when you woke up in the morning or when you went to sleep with her. I know you thought of me when we slept together. I will leave with the doubt of in what way you thought. But if you are not afraid this time, shout it to heaven, I will surely listen to you before you finally forget me._

_I had attached something that I have written for you. Something I always thought. Have it to be the only thing you remember about me. Please._   
  
_In the end, I just want to say, that I hope you can love whoever loves you. And do not let the one who loves you leave you. Stop being afraid of leaving everything in a secret love song._   
  
_ I loved you, I love you and I will love you forever. _   
  
_ Lee Donghyuck." _   
  
_Tears this time fell down from Mark's face on the papers. It was the end._

 

**_ " _ _ We keep behind closed doors _ **

**__ **

**_ Every time I see you, I die a little more _ **

**_ Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls _ **

**_ It'll never be enough _ **

**_ As you drive me to my house _ **

**_ I can't stop these silent tears from rolling down _ **

**_ You and I both have to hide on the outside _ **

**_ Where I can't be yours and you can't be mine _ **

**__ **

**_ But I know this, we got a love that is homeless _ **

**__ **

**_ Why can't I hold you in the street? _ **

**_ Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor? _ **

**_ I wish that it could be like that _ **

**_ Why can't it be like that? 'Cause I'm yours _ **

**_ Why can't I say that I'm in love? _ **

**_ I wanna shout it from the rooftops _ **

**_ I wish that it could be like that _ **

**_ Why can't it be like that? 'Cause I'm yours _ **

**__ **

**_ It's obvious you're meant for me _ **

**_ Every piece of you, it just fits perfectly _ **

**_ Every second, every thought, I'm in so deep _ **

**_ But I'll never show it on my face _ **

**__ **

**_ But we know this, we got a love that is hopeless _ **

**__ **

**_ Why can't you hold me in the street? _ **

**_ Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor? _ **

**_ I wish that it could be like that _ **

**_ Why can't we be like that? 'Cause I'm yours _ **

**_ Why can't I say that I'm in love? _ **

**_ I wanna shout it from the rooftops _ **

**_ I wish that it could be like that _ **

**_ Why can't we be like that? 'Cause I'm yours _ **

**__ **

**_ I don't wanna live love this way _ **

**_ I don't wanna hide us away _ **

**_ I wonder if it ever will change _ **

**_ I'm living for that day, someday _ **

**_ When you hold me in the street _ **

**_ And you kiss me on the dance floor _ **

**_ I wish that we could be like that _ **

**_ Why can't we be like that? 'Cause I'm yours, I'm yours _ **

**__ **

**_ Why can't you hold me in the street? _ **

**_ Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor? _ **

**_ I wish that it could be like that _ **

**_ Why can't it be like that? 'Cause I'm yours _ **

**_ Why can't I say that I'm in love? _ **

**_ I wanna shout it from the rooftops _ **

**_ I wish that it could be like that _ **

**_ Why can't we be like that? 'Cause I'm yours _ **

**__ **

**_ Why can't we be like that? _ **

**_ Wish we could be like that"   _ **

**__ **

**_ Secret Love Song Pt II - Little Mix. _ **

**__ **

**__ **


	2. Paralyzed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paralyzed.   
> Mark x Donghyuck. School. Confession. Nerd!Mark.  
> Song: Paralyzed - BTR.

The lunch hour was made to wait for the students. After 3 hours of classes that seemed like centuries, it was the preferred time for some students.

_Mark on the other hand..._ He preferred to just stay in the classrooms and eat an apple. He wasn't about eating or talking much. Even if he had a couple of friends, he preferred to stay alone.

The monitor came to the room, maybe 27 years old, black hair and good smile. _Kim Junmyeon_ was the death of the fifty-year-old school teachers. Mark adjusted his glasses "Mark, here again?" The blond nodded. 'Something happened?" he shook his head.

"I always stayed here, Mr. Kim" he said in a low voice. "I just don't feel good with all the noise from the cafeteria."

"Well, if something happens to you, do not hesitate to tell me. It is my job to look after my students." He placed his briefcase on the teacher's table. "I will go for a coffee and some cookies, today a new student will enter our class and I need to give a talk about our school and education system. If he arrives before I return, tell him to wait a while."

Mark was not very interested in a new student entering. Another one to endure. Another that would annoy him. _But this one... This one was too different, in an incredibly good way_.

With reddish brown hair a little tousled, shirt out of his tight pants — _which fitted him damn well_ —, a boy centimeters shorter than Mark entered the classroom as if he was a whirlpool.

And it's that, Mark felt the moment the door was opened, a chorus of angels sang and illuminated the majesty of that boy.

_**And it would bring "consequences" to his life.** _

The brunette slowly analyzed the classroom from the start to its end, from lockers to blackboard, stopping the second time in the blond boy with the circular glasses and pink cheeks sitting in front of the rows of desks. Their eyes connected and he smiled sideways. It was the most tender thing he could have seen before. _~~And not only tender, if you have understood me.~~_

"Did I mistake the classrooms? I'm looking for Kim Junmyeon." Mark swallowed. "Hello? Can you hear me?" Mark looked at him as if he was the most beautiful work of art he had ever seen... And of course he was. "Did the mouse eat your tongue, little one?"

Mark was completely paralyzed.

"Ah, Mr. Lee Donghyuck, you have finally arrived" Junmyeon entered the classroom "I see you have met one of our best students, Mark Lee. He is Lee Donghyuck."

 

 

Mark and Donghyuck had been looking at each other more than once. More Mark, now Donghyuck was his muse. Mark liked how different Donghyuck was. Donghyuck liked how timid Mark was. But Mark could not articulate a simple phrase when he was near him. Mark was in the hall in exchange for class waiting for Donghyuck as he did daily, without saying a word but accompanying him in silence. But that day would be different. As soon as he passed by, he gave Mark a look and a flirtatious smile. But he kept walking. Until Mark took his wrist to make him stop.

"D-Dong-hyuck wait..."

"Yes, Mark? Do you need something?" He blinked charismatically three times.

"I... I ... What- I wanted to know if you ... To you ... If"

"Yes?"

"If you, you..."

"Maybe you could ask me next time, Markie." He smiled.

 

 

 

Friday's classes had ended, 6 months after Donghyuck entered the new school. And the Lee's went on "different" roads to their homes. Mark had thought all week that he would tell Donghyuck this time to invite him out. He would achieve it. Mark carefully followed Donghyuck, the mentioned turned to see him on his shoulder. "Are you okay, Markie? The road to your house wasn't two blocks down?"

"Yes!" exclaimed "well ... Yes."

"Something happens?"

"It's just that I ... It's just ... I ..."

"You" 

"I wanted ... In-v ... Invite-you" Donghyuck laughed inside at the sight of the cheeks of the older inflate for not being able to complete his sentence. And it was that. Donghyuck knew what he meant. He had seen it written on the back of one of Mark's notebooks when he tried to copy an operation he was doing. It was very sweet, because he liked him too. And Donghyuck was a bit daring... Maybe with a little push Mark would take courage and tell him.

Donghyuck approached the blonde slowly, he messed the collar of the school shirt and pulled the older closer. Making their lips collide and connect in a few small movements. Mark felt that time had stopped, his hands were shaking and his tongue had frozen before unlocking.

"Oh God" Donghyuck laughed and took off Mark's glasses and messed up his hair. "Donghyuck... Would you like to go in a date with me?"

"Finally, Fuck! It has been like 4 months! Why it didn't occur to me to kiss you before."

"That is a yes?"

"It's a clear yes."

 

_**Donghyuck would always paralyze him with a simple look.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can folkow me on tw @lovelychensung (i write social media Au's too c:)
> 
> And ask whatever you want or submit a song you want me to write about on my cc https://curiouscat.me/lovelychensung


	3. E.T

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark x Donghyuck.  
> Ánimus/Anima/Demon!Donghyuck. Mature.  
> Song: E.T - Katy Perry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can folkow me on tw @lovelychensung (i write social media Au's too c:)
> 
> And ask whatever you want or submit a song you want me to write about on my cc https://curiouscat.me/lovelychensung

Mark hurried to leave from his work, it was a very weird week in which strange events happened.

The door of his car opened on its own when he was driving at night, the books in his office fell down, his orderly clothes appeared on the floor when he returned from work.

_The buttons on his shirt opened when he was reading in bed._

And on top of it, he had seen a brown haired boy appear and disappear from his field of vision several times, only watching and approaching him.

Every time he woke up in the night, he saw the boy's eyes connect to his, he was sitting on his bed or sitting on his hip and when the boy wanted to get close to his face, he closed his eyes strongly thinking that it would disappear.

_And so it did._

But he felt that his skin bristled from head to toe, he felt a breathing in his neck when he was sleeping. A Back hug, kisses on his neck when he was in the shower.

If it was madness, whatever it was, that it would take him once and for all. He opened the door of his room, took off his coat and tried to touch the light switch, but felt an electric current go through his arm. The lights in the room went on but the lights of the whole house began to twinkle, in the end, all staying in the dark. He tried to get close to the switch, but when he turned it on, it didn't work. There was no light. As he could with the lighting of the open window, looked for his package of aromatic bath candles and put three in his room and one in his bathroom, he took one in his hand and went down for some express can food, that had to eat cold.

 

It was uncomfortable to feel watched, but it was even more uncomfortable to hear footsteps on the second floor, right in his room. But when he wanted to calm down and count to 10, he felt his heart rumble to unimaginable decibels in his throat while —without authorization from his brain— he went up the stairs and was in the door of the room again. Attracted by a greater force that had brought him as a puppet up there. He started to sweat cold and opened the door, which was rarely closed and he swore that for security against a fire he had left it open.

But perhaps the fire was about to happen.

In the dim light of the candles, he could see a figure sitting on his bed, with the most delicate and beautiful skin he could have seen, an almost golden color, eclipsing eyes, thin lips and chocolate hair. It was the boy he had seen several times already. The boy who appeared and disappeared in a dazzling vision. Sitting with his legs crossed, a loose sweater —wide for the boy's body— pastel pink, beige shorts and white ankle socks, as if he was in pajamas, he received him with a rather tender smile.

When Mark tried to back away, the door closed. The candles went out and only with the light of the moon Mark saw the boy disappear and reappear in front of him, with his hands on the shoulders of the tallest. Being a little shorter, the boy just had to raise his eyes a little, when his eyes collided and Mark felt that he was beginning to lack air.

And they had not done anything yet.

The chestnut boy eliminated the millimeters that remained between him and the blonde and kissed him. And Mark could not stand it, he followed it as if it was a newly added addiction. As if something had impregnated in him and removed something from his soul. Their arms intertwined with each other's waist.

And he didn't know what it was. Was it an angel? A demon?

When he let go, he staggered back three steps, the candlelights came back, and he could see an even more genuine smile on the boy's face. The creature took his hand and left the room, they went down the stairs and when they went out into the hall of the building he started running, leaving Mark behind.

He was so supernatural that he only wanted to follow him, to the ends of the earth if his body supported. It was something that had been born in him, somehow he just wanted to feel it again. They ran up the stairs to the roof of the building, Mark already with his shirt off and the boy began to walk slower. He held the other's wrist and faced him.

"What are you and why do I feel that I need you?" the golden boy laughed in the sweetest way.

"You are a ghost?"

"I love you."

He repeated the actions of the room, placing his hands around his neck.

"You're an angel?"

"I'm worse than that Minhyung." He began to retreat to the edge, reaching the abyss of the building. Mark following him chained. And when he thought they would fall, they began to float. And when he kissed him again, they exploded in millions of lights, leaving that dimension.

 

 

Mark woke up with a labored breathing, he had fallen asleep again while working. And if he didn't work as a history teacher at the university, he would not know by heart what it was.

His phone resonated.  
  
"Dreaming of me again, Minhyung? You can't let me go, right?"  
  
Fuck.

 

***please read the end note for explanation***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To explain, Mark was having a dream within a reality where he sees a soul / animus. Definition mixed specifically for the situation, since they have separate definitions according to gender.
> 
> Anima / Ánimus: Image or figure present in the dreams or fantasies of a being. Fantasies covered with needs and experiences of an emotional nature. That is, a fantasy out of need for love and / or disappointment.
> 
> Stages of development:  
> × The first stage would be represented as a personification of physical power, in this case it is the mental representation of Mark about Donghyuck, seeing him several times and defining his being.
> 
> × In the second stage the animus has initiative, is able to perform premeditated acts, there is a desire for independence and intellectual development, at the moment when Donghyuck supernaturally appeared, disappeared and attracted Mark even if he did not want to. An aesthetic and romantic level is reached that allows to have some individual values.
> 
> × As a third stage there is a transformation in the word. Something attractive that we could call curiosity.
> 
> And finally, as the last and highest manifestation the animus of meaning would be reached by the animus, becoming the mediator between conscious and unconscious: the making of Mark and his unconscious working according to the essence of Donghyuck. That this will take him and drive to him by connecting them both.
> 
> I don't know if it you would understood the explanation, but it's part of a supernatural idea that was very close with the Katy Perry song and I did not want to do it with the typical alien.


	4. Crush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark x Donghyuck.   
> Slight Angst. Fluff. Jealous!Jeno. Past MarkJen.  
> Song: Girl Crush — Little Big Town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can follow me on tw @lovelychensung (i write social media Au's too c:)
> 
> And ask whatever you want or submit a song you want me to write about on my cc https://curiouscat.me/lovelychensung

Jeno had to admit it, even if he hated it. He was jealous of his former partner's partner, actually he had not been able to forget any trace of Mark in his life. And it was even more painful to encounter the couple wherever he went.

In a small town everything is known.

 

And every time he saw them, his heart began to flutter sick to the point he did not know if he admired Mark... Or his new boyfriend Donghyuck. Both were worthy of admiration.

 

And he wanted everything Donghyuck was, including Mark. He wanted that beautiful smile that the brunette gave to the older one, with a laugh so sweet that he articulated when they played sharing ice cream.

 

Like when Mark told him that he liked his smile and how he put their eyes when laughing.

 

But it was not as precious as Donhyuck's.

 

He wanted to taste Donghyuck's plump pink lips because that was the only way to be able to feel Mark again in the delicate spring kisses he gave to the younger.

 

He wanted Donghyuck's vanilla smell, the one that made Mark hide in his neck so he could be home and feel warm even if they wore fluffy couple sweaters.

 

Sweaters that he always hated — like Mark was always annoyed with his trawberries perfume — but that they wore in a tender way.

 

He began to realize the best hair color was the chestnut, thanks to Donghyuck's silky hair dazzling in broad daylight, and as Mark passed his hands always caressing him to make him feel better.

 

He wanted to have Donghyuck's touch, because with only a small hug to Mark, he could become a tomato.

 

And every night in his room he kept thinking about Donghyuck hugging Mark while sleeping to give him love. Or at parties when Donghyuck approached Mark hugging him from the back and whispered in his ear, putting a smile on Mark's face.

 

And God knew how much he had tried, and that he could not get Donghyuck out of his mind.

 

Because maybe that's the way, as Donghyuck did, Mark would love him as much as the younger.

 

He had a crush. In his ex.

 

But he admitted, it did not bother him to see them happy and smiling at him when they crossed the street.

 

I got a girl crush

Hate to admit it but

I got a heart rush

Is not slowing down

I got it real bad

Want everything she has

That smile and that midnight laugh

She's giving you now

 

I want to taste every lips

Yeah, 'cause they taste like you

I want to drown myself

In a bottle of her perfume

I want every long blonde hair

I want her magic touch

Yeah, 'cause maybe then

You'd want me just as much

I got a girl crush

I got a girl crush

 

I do not get no sleep

I do not get no peace

Thinking about her

Under your bed sheets

The way that she's whispering

The way that she's pulling you in

Lord knows I've tried,

I can not get off my mind

I want to taste every lips

Yeah, 'cause they taste like you

I want to drown myself

In a bottle of her perfume

I want every long blonde hair

I want her magic touch

Yeah, 'cause maybe then

You'd want me just as much

I got a girl crush

I got a girl crush

Hate to admit it but

I got a heart rush

It is not slowing down


End file.
